At some point, many of us learned to look outside of ourselves for the answer.
Is this the right decision?
Do they approve?
Am I doing this “well enough”?
And while feedback can be helpful… relying on it too heavily can quietly disconnect you from something far more important:
Your own voice.
I remember a time when I would second-guess even the simplest decisions.
I’d draft something… then ask for opinions.
Make a plan… then look for reassurance.
Feel a knowing… and still hesitate.
Not because I didn’t have clarity.
But because I didn’t fully trust it.
There was a part of me that believed:
If someone else confirms it, then it must be right.
And while that felt safe in the moment… it also kept me stuck in a cycle of waiting.
Waiting for approval.
Waiting for certainty.
Waiting for someone else to validate what I already sensed.
The shift didn’t happen overnight.
But it began the moment I started asking a different question:
“What do I think?”
And then… giving myself the space to actually listen.
External validation isn’t the problem.
It’s when it becomes the requirement that we lose our centre.
Because the truth is:
No one else has your exact perspective.
Your values.
Your lived experience.
And when you constantly look outside for confirmation, you slowly train yourself to doubt what’s already within you.
Self-trust isn’t about always getting it “right.”
It’s about knowing you can handle whatever comes from your choices.
Think of a compass.
It doesn’t shout.
It doesn’t rush.
It simply points—steadily, quietly, consistently.
But if you keep looking at everyone else’s map, you’ll start to question your own direction.
Your inner voice works the same way.
It’s there.
It’s steady.
But it requires you to pause… and pay attention.
4 Ways to Strengthen Self-Trust
1. Pause Before You Seek Opinions
Before asking someone else, ask yourself first:
What feels right to me?
You don’t have to act on it immediately—just notice it.
This is how you begin reconnecting with your own voice.
2. Make Small Decisions Without Outsourcing Them
Start building evidence.
Choose the restaurant.
Send the message.
Make the call.
Small moments of self-trust add up faster than you think.
3. Redefine What “Getting It Right” Means
Self-trust isn’t about perfect outcomes.
It’s about backing yourself.
Even if something doesn’t go as planned, you can still say:
“I trust myself to learn, adjust, and move forward.”
4. Celebrate When You Listen to Yourself
This matters more than most people realise.
Every time you honour your own voice—even in a small way—pause and acknowledge it.
“I trusted myself there.”
That’s how confidence is built.
If you’ve been looking outside yourself for reassurance…
This is your reminder:
You are allowed to trust your own voice.
You are allowed to make decisions without needing permission.
You are allowed to move forward without constant validation.
Because the more you trust yourself…
the less you need the world to confirm that you’re on the right path.
And that kind of confidence?
It’s steady.
It’s grounded.
And it’s already within you.
If you’re ready to deepen your self-trust and quiet the need for external validation, this is the work we step into together.
Learn more at a free consult here.
About Amy Ballantyne
Amy Ballantyne is a multiple TEDx Speaker, and has spoken to companies, and organizations nationally and internationally. She often speaks on topics such as intentional thinking, resilience, emotional intelligence, worthiness, work-place wellness and work-life harmony.
Amy holds a variety of coaching designations including: Certified Executive Coach with the International Coaching Federation, as a Board-Certified Trainer and Coach of Neuro Linguistic Programing, Hypnosis, and TimeLine Therapy®, as a Coach Practitioner of Imposter Syndrome and an Advanced Wellness Coach.
As the owner of Ballantyne Coaching, they offer a variety of options including executive, life, breakthrough and wellness coaching, with the whole person approach.
Amy Ballantyne is best-selling author, and recently released a new book called, “Celebrate Yourself: Become Your Own Cheerleader Through Mastering the Art of Self-Love and Unshakeable Confidence”.
Amy Ballantyne lives in Ontario, Canada with her husband and 3 athletic kids. She can often be found at the ballpark, in a hockey rink or at a dance competition. She enjoys reading, meditation and being out in nature.
Amy Ballantyne is a 2x TEDx Speaker, Executive Life Coach, Accredited Trainer & Master Coach of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Hypnosis & Creating Your Future Coaching Techniques, sought-after Corporate Trainer & Team Culture Builder, author of “Celebrate Yourself: Become Your Own Cheerleader Through Mastering the Art of Self-Love and Unshakeable Confidence.”
As the owner and Master Coach of Ballantyne Coaching, she co-creates transformational change for her clients through reprogramming limiting beliefs, overcoming fears, boosting confidence, and reducing stress to unlock a future filled with potential and opportunity. Her clients share feeling “unlocked and limitless” after working with her.
Most recently, the she has become an accredited Coach trainer, and now is certifying NLP Coaches.